Have you ever listened to your body and paid attention to what it is saying? The first time I experienced a calm, intermittent stream of diarrhoea was in Egypt. First I blamed the feta cheese. It was a buffet, everyone else had the same feta. Definitely not the feta. Halfway through my fifteen runs to the loo I finally understood what was happening. I had prostituted my energy away. The night prior I had given ‘free’ energetic witnessing to about a dozen people in succession. My rationale? To help them integrate while being on this sacred journey. If I were to be truly honest, I was just gaining validation if I was a good enough energy worker or not. So I sat, witnessed, and held space for one person after another. They offered no energy exchange because I never asked but I gave because here I was, cloaking it as an act of seva. Clearly, I had much to learn after that night. My intentions are what it is and there is no cheating it. The universe will set the karmic balance in order, for better or for worse. I shat as many times as I witnessed and then some more as bonus.
The next day we had a very early morning ride to Edfu temple once the Nile cruise docked. Edfu, the home of Horus, the Divine Sun Child. Conceived from the miraculous divine union of Isis and Osiris. He who fights for what is right and transcends the false self, the ego. A test in the solar plexus. So you see, for me the lesson has already begun the night before. Energies and intentions were already aligned for this temple and my personal test for this time around was Edfu. This is where I got punched in the gut good for serving my egoic means and masking it as ‘free service’. There is no such thing as free. Everything requires an exchange and we must be wise enough to acknowledge and honour that.
I never made it through our private time in the Holy of Holies of Horus. Everyone stood in the chamber and experienced a guided meditation while I was collapsed, squatting in the corner. Some much for holding space while the alchemy was taking place…It was before day break therefore pitch black so nobody could see me. I barely enjoyed the rising of dawn and was glad to leave when all the tourists started pouring in from tour buses. When you go on sacred journeys you will find a situation or temple that will challenge you. You will also find parts of your soul coming home to a familiar place. It is all part of the path. We thrive from the re-connection and we learn from the trials. Turns out I have still so much more to learn.
As though the first experience was not enough for me, it happened to me again. This time when I was interacting with a singular individual. I would just get the runs after every time we met. My diet was the same, my constitution is relatively strong but I could not for the life of me figure out what was happening. Turns out, it was a massive energy leakage. I was talking to an energy vampire and I was still happily serving that interaction. When I decided to formally stop giving my energy to the interaction, the body took one final massive purge, truly like a sewer that had burst its pipe.
By now, I have figured out how severe energy depletion affects my body. Besides feeling extremely tired after an interaction I now get second level tsunami warning with diarrhoea. One month ago, at a cafe where I was doing complimentary readings for I had a mild case of the runs. It can’t be the food (am wiser after the feta cheese incident). So it must be me once again giving out more than is necessary. I snapped out of my over enthusiastic unbridled energy mode, and learnt to tune in and dispense exactly the right amount of advice stemming from the cards. To want to give, the other party must want to receive. If they reject on an energetic level what is being said, you deplete your energy. If they ask on and on but not wanting to provide an energy exchange, you also run the risk of depletion.
As we journey in the work, certain sensitivities open up in us. To be an empath is great but learning to filter rubbish is even more necessary. How are we to function effectively is every lovelorn fool’s lament is our woe and every disgruntled employee evokes the championing union leader in us? To me, I follow the rule of three. Give the situation a chance thrice if you are not entirely sure. If by the third time, you feel the same about this client, this interaction, this guru; then it is high time to remove ourselves from the situation. Too many times, we hold on to situations, people, and relationships in hoping things will change. We leave to establish boundaries and protect what is sacred to us; our life and life force. With that you gain freedom and energy plus new opportunities that would otherwise elude you as you wandered in fields of foggy hopes and wishes.