The Eleven-Fingered Freak

This freak was never planned for and thus never wanted anyway. The tenth child to be birthed through her mother’s canal she proved even more worthless being born female. At least her two surviving brothers could work and support the family. What good was she, but another mouth to feed amongst the five other daughters. Her father was an old man of 50 by then. Time were tough, people aged so much harder back in the days.

Born with eleven fingers, her birth echoed even more ominous tones. At three days old, that finger was unapologetically severed. We shall count this at the second trauma she suffers; the first is the act of being birthed itself. As this child grew up, she was treated as disposable and largely ignored. In fact, as an infant she was even offered to the neighbour but was rejected due to the extra finger.

By now you can sense that the core theme here is rejection. Even now after the mother is decades gone, the core memory is pain, rejection, and lovelessness.

Eventually the freak will seek to find love elsewhere since she was insignificant in her large and busy household. She would eventually deploy drastic measures to subconsciously get the attention of her family thus ending her getting disowned and a sizeable inheritance revoked.

The second chapter begins. Now she has become a mother. A pregnancy concealed and a daughter is born. First for her but the third daughter for her partner. How disappointing. What good is a girl anyway? The freak raises her daughter like how her mother had raised her. Immense pressure to perform academically coupled with severe beating that lefts scars and post traumatic reactions.

Scant years go by and a son is begotten. A celebration! How wonderful! How fair and angelic he is. The paternal lineage lives on! Hoorah! Not such a useless womb after all. Eager to repeat this momentous feat, barely a year later the freak is pregnant again with pressure of getting yet another boy. No such luck. And this last child, this second daughter, would bear the greatest tragedy of all. Hated upon sight, spat upon metaphorically this child of the freak was sent away to be raised by the elders. No food for her here. No clothes for her here. There is the eldest child to responsibly raise and the son so cherished. This extra mistake must be banished.

Years later the last daughter will be disowned by the freak in court under oath. Freak will bear no responsibility for it and claimed that she was pressured by the elders. Whether this lie is something she can live with is not for us know.

This is how ancestral trauma is passed down. The apathy and rejection from the mother to the freak and subsequently to freak’s own daughters. Know your story but do not be over-identified with it. Understanding builds empathy and compassion.

One day, if we are so blessed we will see our elders revert to their inner child state. I ask that you be gentle with them then, for that is their second chance at sweetness and innocence before the light dims out forever.