Power Struggles
The victim & the abuser. How we are both of it at the same time.
The solar plexus tests our true stance of power. It indicates our ability to function in the world without being affected by every single external occurrence and opinion. What makes power enduring is the display of your values. Power shines like a beacon in the dark and shows you the way. Power is quiet but palpable. It is the enigma and charisma that healthily draws people to you in respect and maintenance of healthy boundaries.
Power play is the simple dynamics of demand and supply. Without one, the other cannot exist. Without a victim there can not be a bully. Without distress there is no need for the hero or saviour. Without a gully of the oppressed there can not be a martyr. These are all roles and labels. Ones that we each have interchangeably played over countless of times. In this navel/hara dance all energy is sucked away. It is where karmic hooks are tethered and how tentacles are latched. The person leeching on keeps on taking, and the person submitting (believing they have no free will) keeps on giving. Every time we do not want to be responsible for our selves and lives, somebody will gladly step into the role until it becomes unbearable and unpleasant for us. On the flip side, for every person we are desperately trying to save and fix we become resentful, tired, and jaded.
One common way we deplete the solar plexus energy is to over-extend ourselves. People pleasing is a disease. Not being truthful about how you feel is a clear betrayal of your personal power. Being a Yes man will leave you frustrated and tapped out in the end. Saying yes when you do not want to creates a lot of energetic confusion for the other party. They mentally register your yes but the vibe is just a whole lot of surly no from your end. The less you know yourself, the more likely you are to give your power away to anyone that comes seeking it. This means your energy, your faith, your loyalty, your time. All these prostituted away because you do not recognise your own strengths and values.
Let us be completely honest here. We over-extend not from the kindness and goodness of our heart. We over-extend because of two things. First, that we are unworthy. Second, because deep down we want to be in control of every single thing for we simply do not trust. Both agendas can co-exist. In the case of unworthiness, we feel that we are never good enough just being who we are. We feel the need to constantly prove ourselves to the world. Let the boss see how hard we work. Let our parents acknowledge how filial we are. Let our children realise how much we sacrifice for them. We are looking externally to be constantly validated that we are good enough. You are measuring up against an invisible and impossible self-imposed yardstick. This pursuit is relentless and heads nowhere.
As an over-giver, we need to learn to see our values and establish firm boundaries. Develop your skills and interests. Have a certain measure of tangible competency that makes you shine and stand out amongst your peers. The more you invest in your worth, the more the solar plexus can heal itself for you are so enriched and centred in your own purpose and being. The leeching of energy will cease. You will not be affected by every silver-plated offer, every devastating comment, and any aggressive approach. Because now you have options. Saying No is an option. Negotiating is an option.
On the other side of the spectrum is the aggressor or bully. They too abuse their solar plexus chakra but in a different way. False ego drives their agenda. They feed on their pomposity and narcissism and they expect to be cheered and lauded however idiotic & ridiculous they may appear. Your failure to submit to their stunting is deemed as insubordination. They deviously gaslight & your feelings are constantly invalidated. They remind you constantly that you are nothing thus further driving this false notion that you are unworthy and unloved. Their coolness and quietness is not from true power but from a shrewd calculated way of maintaining hierarchy and staying a step ahead whilst trusting nobody. They thrive on separation. Their false gods are fame, money, and status. These feed their endless black hole of an ego.
Bullies, abusers, and aggressors are just fronting. They puff up to create a barrier so that nobody can truly see who they are. If we step closer and peel those masks off, you will see the same inadequacy as the victim. While the victim has chosen freeze (submission to torture, believing there is no other option) or flight (denial of self responsibility), the bully instead, has chosen fight. They pommel on relentlessly with derision, arm twisting, and just punch the remaining air out of your gut. Deep down we are all scared of being a nobody. A nothing. We just dress it up differently. Think of Pennywise the clown from IT & the Wizard of Oz. Once you call them out, they aren’t so big and scary after all. In fact, they are reduced to just a blubbering putty which is even more jarring due to the radical ‘flip’ of their demeanour.
For every NO that you truthfully & clearly utter, you restore a beautiful fragment of your solar plexus chakra. To say “No” means you have discerned and respect that this does not feel right for you right now. An ability to impose boundaries and protect your space will build up a stronger you. Speaking your truth means that you have recognised your set of values and want to assert it even if this means offending some people. Sometimes you will need to say no thanks, goodbye, fuck you, and fuck off. Not necessarily all in the same breath although that would be absolutely cathartic :)
Cultivate friendships where you are not a boss, or an employee, not a guru, not a student. In this circle of peers where all are equal you can truly observe how you function. When there is nothing to control, no status to tarnish, and nothing to prove; will you then participate as an equal? Or will your grandstanding antics bedazzle & distract everyone. Perhaps you are meek and suddenly lose your voice, feeling yourself to be less than. The minute the power is imbalanced, that is where the demonic powerplay comes alive.
Be brave to stand up for your own life. Develop a healthy ego, one that is rooted in your sense of self. Knowing yourself is an empowering feeling. Nobody can get there but you. So make it a mission to figure it out bit by bit, day by day and stand firm in its truth. Let others make a decision for their own lives as well. Take a step back and let them pick up their own slack and mess. We cannot fix everything and truly, how much can we sincerely and altruistically help before it energetically takes a toll on us.
For all we have perpetuated or endured in these two roles, trust that Divine Justice will restore that balance. You just need to face its consequences. So let us remedy the solar and its tipped scales of power struggle before it is done for us! And so it is.
