A Tale of Taugeh

Fighting stigma and extremes.

During my teenage years, money was so scarce that the only vegetable we could consistently afford was the humble taugeh a.k.a beansprout. A repetitive consumption of it led me to detest that nutrient-dense plant. On a deeper level, it was a constant reminder that we could not afford anything else for we were always barely holding things together.

When I grew up and embarked on my introspective journey, the one thing I tackled bit by bit was all my extreme dislikes and irrational fear conditionings related to food. I had to make peace with the innocent plate of blanched beansprouts. It took time, and after a while I stopped associating it with my struggling teenage years. This still does not mean I would prepare it at home ;)

Next was to shed the bias that caffeine is evil and I will end up an addict to it. I was in my mid-30s when I started consuming coffee. Today, there is nothing more that I enjoy than a good cup of flat white. Instant coffee powder makes me stressed depressed lemon zest but it works when I am in the comfort of my home.

Once the ball started rolling, I braved up and tackled the next disgusting thing on my palate; runny yolks. The thought of its smell and it dribbling down my chin is enough to make me hurl in the past. My first intentional foray into it was to have it happily sandwiched in a soft shell crab burger. Oh my days..it was absolute heaven. I stopped boiling my eggs to powdery grey egg yolk pallor and take relish in its jammy core now.

Three years back, I slowly bought fruit again and cut it up myself because my dad is not here to do it for me anymore. That sulky inner child in me has given up waiting for that signature act of affection. It is a delusional script that only I am holding on to. My inner parent can now nourish myself with the sweetness of fruits that are to my preference.

It used to befuddle me when people asked what is my favourite food. As someone who cooks and enjoys various cuisines, it truly was alarming that I had no answer. What I had unknowingly trained myself to do was to abstain from extreme likes and dislikes. The middle path.

Food is an integral part of survival and subsequently well-being. Let us vary our tastebuds for the sake of our gut bacteria. Introducing new things for a sustained period and switching completely allows it to build up resilience. The more tolerant your gut is, the more you are able to handle life’s curveballs.

Growing up there was hardly food in the fridge or on the table. But that was me, growing up. Today, my pantry is still lean but my purchases are conscious and serves to nourish, love, and care for my body. No taboos, no fear. I eat my butter, drink my milk, and sear my meat.

Food is merely an analogy used to describe fear patterns and external conditionings brought upon us. The real question is to explore what holds us back and bit by bit try to overcome then. Having said that, I have other fears to tackle now that my food aversion has been managed :)

Be well!